I recently read the book "Words that Curse and Save Children.
Hello, I am Hiroya, a washi artist who has managed to keep up a 30-minute jogging routine 4-5 times a week. I am struggling to keep going....
Today, I would like to introduce another book.
Words that Curse and Save Children" by Mr. Yasuyuki Deguchi.
As the title suggests, this book is especially recommended for parents and educators. But it may also be suitable for reflecting on your own life to date.
Why is that?
Because I believe that everyone may have one or two words in this book that come to mind, whether they were released by themselves or by someone else.
Words are used by men and women of all ages. I think this book is applicable not only to children but also to adults.
However, after reading the book, I had one disappointment. It is the design of the cover. There is a lonely looking boy. It is impressive, but I wanted to have a positive element somewhere. The purpose of this book is to save people, so I personally thought that if the picture was not good enough, I wanted the color or font to save people.
Easier said than done.
I am sure that this book was thought out very hard, and I do not intend to criticize it at all. This book was written by a criminal psychologist and is based on the cases of juveniles who committed crimes.
Let me introduce the contents of the book.
- I don't think that everyone has a clear parenting policy toward their children. In many cases, they may be doing what they think is somehow good based on what has been done to them and their own experiences.
- It is the relationship of trust between parent and child that is important.
- What is not good is to change the policy without telling the child.
- Why is "hurry up and do it" not good enough?
- The ability to foresee in advance is not something one is born with, but is acquired during development.
- A psychotherapy called "introspection therapy" is often used as part of rehabilitation programs. Introspection is a process of contemplating oneself. Unlike "reflection," which attempts to find the cause of a negative situation, introspection looks at thoughts and feelings as they really are. It is an opportunity to look at oneself and to be objective about one's current situation.
- Words change 180 degrees depending on the recipient.
- What matters is the subjective reality of the child. It is important what words you use, but it is also important that you pay attention to how the child perceives the words.
- Self-affirmation is the feeling of being able to affirm oneself as one is. It is a sense of being able to recognize and respect the value of one's own existence, rather than comparing oneself with others. It is the fundamental power to lead a good life.
- To notice a child's SOS and to find areas for praise, observe. The more you observe, the more parents can provide what the child needs at that moment. I would like you to make it a habit to observe your children when they are doing something alone, with their siblings, or playing with their friends. Of course, you can observe as much as you can. The point of observation is to pay attention to changes. Look for unusual behavior, unusual facial expressions, etc. It is not particularly difficult. This is not particularly difficult. If observation has become a habit for you, you will think, "Oh, my God.
- We understand that you are worried and want to talk to them. However, parents cannot be there forever. If parents do not act as a "fall prevention stick" and let their children fall, children who have never fallen will not know what to watch out for on their own. If you really want to help your child, you must let him or her make mistakes.
- It is not about telling the parent what to think, but letting him or her think.
That is all.
How was it? I think you may find some points you can relate to by simply replacing the words "parents" and "children" with yourself, someone close to you, or even your boss or teacher.
People cannot live alone. As long as we live in a society that uses language, I believe that trust and consideration cannot be removed.
I think this book has a lot to offer. I hope many people will read this book.